I just… can’t.

We’ve all been there, fellow writers, and you know what I’m talking about… yes, the dreaded ‘writer’s block’. But hold on! This is not just another article about that familiar and unwelcome affliction – if you want to read more about that please feel free to scroll back through my blog feed where I have written extensively about the causes and solutions of ‘getting stuck’. No, this post is a little different. This post is about more than the common enemies of the writer; the ones that stop them from getting on with it. This is about something deeper than procrastination and poor planning and getting sucked in to the deep well of social media when we should be creating. This post is about when we just can’t.

What do I mean? Read on.

I’m sure I’m not the only one who has days when writing is hard; when finding the words or the inspiration is a struggle; when it doesn’t flow, it sort of stutters, if anything at all. Somehow you press on and force it.

But some days there is something deeper than even that. There is a wall. The wall is more than a fight, more than a block. The wall actually makes it impossible.

Let me explain.

These past few weeks I haven’t been able to write. That might sound fairly unimportant in the grand scheme of things – indeed in world terms, it is exactly that; unimportant. But in my life writing is as necessary to my well-being and equilibrium as breathing. If I am not writing I may as well not exist. It is who I am; it is how I express and create and understand the world. It is as much a part of me as my vital organs or limbs, and to remove it would be as devastating as amputation. But sometimes it removes itself from my life, and by that I mean it becomes impossible to do. Why? Because there is a wall in my way – too big and high to climb, and too wide to skirt around.

The wall is usually emotional. Something has happened in my life that has distracted me, or left me feeling anxious, or low. It could be a death of a loved one, or a devastating argument with a friend. It could be news of a serious health issue, or the loss of a source of income. Sometimes it can be something that has me elated and on a high; distracted by the excitement of a new job, or a vibrant new friend. It might be a piece of good news or a surge of romance. But invariably (I would be as bold as to say always) it is linked to my emotional state. It is as though something so overwhelming enters my life that I am entirely unable to focus on anything else. Mundane, repetitive, everyday tasks are accomplishable – they require little thought or feeling, but creating; in this case writing, becomes beyond the bounds of possibility. Even trying to create becomes futile. What has affected me recently is irrelevant to you, but everything to me. It has become my wall, and it towers over me ominously.

Do I have a solution? No. I’m sorry, but there it is. Really, the only obvious answer is to wait it out – to let the emotional turmoil or high settle, as they always invariably do, and hope that the creative juices begin to flow once more when the dam is removed. Is there any guarantee the ability to write will return? Well, so far I’ve been lucky, but I guess one day that may not be so. Do I still want to write? Desperately. Does it hurt that I can’t right now? Absolutely. Is there anything I can do to help matters whilst I wait for the dust to settle? Well, a couple of days ago I couldn’t even face writing this blog, so…

…small steps.

Maybe talk to someone and tell them how you feel (I just told everyone reading this. That counts, right?). Message me if you like!

And patience. When you just can’t, don’t. Don’t force it.

(I’m not very good at the patience thing, so I’m going to throw alcohol and chocolate in here as potential solutions too. Although go easy on the alcohol, folks. We’re aiming for recovering our ability to creative write here, after all…).

I guess it’s whatever works for you.

But your best weapon against the wall? Hope. If you believe it will come back, it will.

Stay strong, fellow writers.